


The Here and Now

by sakvnosuke



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Gen, Post-Avatar: The Legend of Korra, Spirit World (Avatar), meeting his beloved nephew, that's pretty much it, you know tlok iroh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24879406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakvnosuke/pseuds/sakvnosuke
Summary: Then a chuckle rang out, from a voice Zuko would recognize anywhere, no matter the circumstances. A voice Zuko hadn’t heard in so long. If it wasn’t for the restraint he learned all those years ago, the fire in his hand would already went out of control and burned down the whole place just to match his emotions.
Relationships: Iroh & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 213





	The Here and Now

**Author's Note:**

> call this what it is: a word vomit.
> 
> rewatched atla a while back, then continued tlok, then i just HAVE to get this out of my system before i combust. i haven't read the korra comics, so.. yeah, if something major happened there this work wouldn't know.

“Sorry for not coming physically.”

A small part of Zuko wanted to laugh at the absurdity of that statement. Another part of him, the one that was well aware of the translucent creatures flying about the skyscrapers of the city stopped him from doing it out loud. However, his mouth formed a kind smile as he turned to face the glowing form on his right, floating along with his stroll.

He guessed the absurdity of said statement wouldn’t matter when the one who said it was a _spirit_. A spirit of one of his best friend’s grandchild, no less.

“It’s totally fine, Jinora,” he said. “The Avatar couldn’t escort me, so you’re the next best option. I’m grateful enough that you can make time to help an old man out.”

If Zuko didn’t guess wrong, he’d say Jinora was blushing a little. It was hard to tell, with her spirit-y blue figure. She tucked a stray hair from covering her arrow tattoo.

“It’s no problem, Lord Zuko. I would cross the portal physically if I could, but Dad said that would make Ikki and Meelo jealous and they would ask to come, too. They’re not exactly… a quiet company.”

At that, the ex-Fire-Lord did laugh. He knew how Tenzin’s younger two could be a handful, but it wasn’t like he’d mind if they come. Then again, he trusted Tenzin’s judgement, so he wouldn’t argue. He wasn’t the spirit expert around here, which was exactly why he needed an escort in the first place.

The spirit portal was a beacon in the heart of Republic City, the clouds parting around the ray of light with spirits circling it. Zuko hadn’t come to the city in a while, which was why he kept gazing up to the unnatural source of light. It almost seemed natural enough for the other citizens, though, as no one so much as bat an eye to the light pillar. No one exactly turned their heads towards Jinora’s glowing blue appearance, either.

The war hero and one of Republic City’s founder, retired Fire Lord Zuko, however, turned heads.

People in front of stalls stared and pointed with hushed whispers, Satomobiles slowed down at his sight, and Zuko was pretty sure someone was taking pictures, if the flashes of artificial light meant anything. The braver ones would say hi and wave their hands, and Zuko would give a polite smile and returned the gesture with a small wave of his own.

It wasn’t exactly new for him, this kind of thing. Usually he would be more open, though, letting people come closer and indulging the awestruck questions. The only thing stopping him—or the citizens, really—from doing the same today was the presence to his left, glaring down everyone who were brave enough to come just a little closer to their group.

“I still can’t believe you won’t let Druk drop you to the portal.” Lin Beifong grumbled under her breath. “Or at least take a Satomobile. I don’t know, not _walking_ all the way down there.”

Zuko gave the Chief of Police a sympathetic smile. “I did tell you I’ll be fine by my own, Lin. I need a guide for the Spirit World, not a bodyguard through the city.”

Lin waved her hand with a scoff. “I know you’re capable of protecting yourself. I’m just doing my job here.”

“Well, try to enjoy it a little,” Zuko shoved his elbow towards Lin, the way Toph would do to him. He got an eyeroll in return. “You’re scaring off the children. I don’t mind some little conversations along the way.”

“That’s part of your problem. You’re taking a nice stroll across the city, and you would engage in every conversation anyone strikes up with you. You won’t even get to the portal.”

“I think this is nice,” Jinora piped up. The way she was floating meant Zuko didn’t have to look down to see her bright smile. “The spirit portal won’t disappear anytime soon, anyway. A walk once in a while is good for the soul.”

Lin mumbled some more things that Zuko couldn’t quite hear. Whether it was because she was on his left and that side of Zuko’s ear was never that sharp since long ago, or because of his old age, he wasn’t sure. He thought he caught something like _not retired_ , _more supernatural_ , and something suspiciously like _carry him myself_.

The rest of their walk went without a hitch, the group having more idle conversations along the way with some more smiles and waves on Zuko’s part. Soon enough they arrived at the crater surrounding the beam of light, filled to the brim with the infamous spirit vines. Some cops were stationed around the light, keeping the small array of visitors from entering the portal without permission.

Lin jumped to the crater first. The cops straightened up at her appearance, as she strode quickly through the tangles of vines. Jinora followed next, her spirit casting a blue glow contrasting the yellow of the portal. Zuko waited for what was probably a beat too long before following them.

The vines were somehow both soft and hard under his feet, and he tried to shake off the feeling that they were _alive_. He paced quickly, and resisted the urge to exhale when he finally stood in front of the light.

“This is as far as I can take you,” Lin said, putting one hand on her hip. Zuko saw the lines of relief on her face, but he didn’t mention it. “I draw the line of supernatural involvement at going into the Spirit World.”

Zuko nodded his thanks, turning to Jinora. The little airbender was looking at him with an encouraging expression. Which, wasn’t needed at all, thank you very much. Zuko wasn’t nervous about doing this, not at all.

He remembered Izumi’s deadpan comment when he told his daughter exactly that. _Okay,_ she had said, voice dripping with more sarcasm than he liked; _the man behind the legendary Blue Spirit isn’t afraid of spirits, makes sense._ Despite her words, her eyes shone with concern and she went through their plan a thousand times. Zuko was sure she was the one who sent Lin, too.

Ever the worrywart, that daughter of his.

“I’ll meet you on the other side.” Jinora’s words brought him back, before the girl’s spirit disappeared.

Zuko stared at the yellow pillar before him. He took a deep breath, and stepped into the light.

* * *

To say that the change of scenery was _jarring_ would be an understatement.

The dull colors of the world Zuko stepped from was replaced by splashes of vibrant colors, and if he focused hard enough, he was sure they changed shades from time to time. Spirits big and small occupied the clear skies, some flying in a distinct formation, some seemingly having something like a delicate dance between one another. A field of flowers was spread around the portal, a type of flower Zuko couldn’t name, even after all the time he dedicated to study his mother’s books.

Then again, they were flowers in the _Spirit World_. No matter how good Ursa was on her thing, he doubted she ever saw any spirit flowers.

“Welcome to the Spirit World.” Jinora said with a cheer, and Zuko turned to find his tiny companion, now looking just as vivid as him despite never crossing the portal physically.

Zuko gave her a smile, still a little awed from the… otherworldly scenery (sue him, Sokka had definitely rubbed off on him at one point—not that he would ever admit it). He shifted on his feet, looking at Jinora with a lopsided smile.

“So… where to, tour guide?”

“Well, more often than not, the Spirit World shows you what you want to see the most, who you want to see the most,” Zuko tried to stave off the stutter his heart made at Jinora’s composed words. “So, really, you decide, Lord Zuko.”

“Enough of this ‘Lord Zuko’ nonsense.” Zuko said instead, partly trying to distract himself, but Jinora didn’t need to know that. “Just Zuko’s fine.”

This time it was the girl who shifted with a hesitant expression on her face. “I don’t know, it feels… weird.”

“If it’s any better, Grandpa is also fine.” When she gave him a timid smile, he continued, “Everyone says Aang was my best friend, and while they aren’t wrong, he was also more than that. He’s almost like a brother to me, really.”

 _Ah_ , judging from Jinora’s somber expression, he’d said something wrong again. That was something he was still trying to fix. One would think once you’d become a Fire Lord for the most of your life and attended one too many official meetings you’d know how to properly socialize, but that wasn’t really the case for Zuko. The awkwardness from his youth never really left, a trait his family wouldn’t stop teasing him about.

What was left of his family, anyway. Don’t get him wrong, he loved the newer rendition of his family with his whole heart, but there were times where he would miss the other part of the family. The family that wasn’t related by blood to him, the people who he fought the war with, the ones who had accepted him to the group even after all the atrocious things he did to them.

Sometimes, he would see Izumi laughing with her friends and all he could see was another landscape from another lifetime. A Fire Nation shore, an abandoned royalty house, a deadline closing in and an imminent threat coming, but also a somewhat-peace before the storm.

There was also the peace after the storm, a peace they earned, but that didn’t last for long, did it? For how much the new world called him one of the bringers of peace, he wasn’t exactly sure how he would be able to describe such thing. He’d made peace with himself a long time ago, and he’d made peace with the fact that even without the war, the world would never settle. The world only evolved, and while that wasn’t inherently a bad thing, that also meant new hardships would come, and they would have to deal with it.

Zuko wasn’t sure if he would describe such world as peaceful. But on his age, all he could do was swallow the reality no matter how bitter it was. He wouldn’t stop fighting for the good— _never give up without a fight_ —but he wouldn’t pretend that his contribution on ending the war meant all is well.

“…Grandfather?”

Zuko blinked back to the present, looking back to Jinora’s face. The change in nickname was nice, but her face was concerned, now. He must have been silent for longer than he thought.

“Sorry, I must have spaced out.” He looked around, trying to find a path to follow, but all directions seemed just as unknown. “So, you think I just… let my feet carry me or something like that?”

She smiled, tilting her head a little. “I’d say let your heart guide you, but you get the gist of it.”

Very vague. Zuko had dealt with many vague statements and confusing proverbs his whole life, though, so he signed himself for it and started walking with no real directions in his mind. Jinora followed by his side, her springy feet having no trouble keeping up with his long ones.

“While we’re walking,” she said casually, though her hand was twisting the fabric of her robes and she refused to meet his eyes. “Can you tell me more about Grandpa Aang?”

Zuko smiled, and while he put no mind on where he was walking, he racked his brain for stories to tell. “It would be an honor.”

* * *

They went inside a dark forest soon after, which, _damn_. He knew he could be kind of depressing sometimes, but can his heart not lead him to some place like this, especially in another realm, with a small girl on his tow?

The two of them were still conversing casually, but admittedly Zuko was a little on edge. He turned his head to the smallest of movement, and after a while he had to conjure a fire for them to be able to see. He’d asked Jinora if they should turn around, but she only said something along the lines of _that’s for you to decide._

Seriously, the little monk was too much like her grandfather and almost as cryptic as his uncle that he felt a headache coming just for that line of thought.

No matter how _rational_ the idea of turning back and getting out of the dark spirit forest sounded, Zuko didn’t really have it in him to do so. His little guide said then they should keep moving forward after he told her that, so yeah, they were going even deeper into the dark shades.

Zuko almost regretted the whole ordeal when he finally saw it. Another flicker of light, approaching them right from their front. They stopped talking immediately, and in one instinctive move, Zuko placed himself in front of Jinora, almost completely obscuring her small stature.

The light continued to come closer in a steady pace, and Zuko willed his fire to grow bigger, half in warning and half to be able to see their newcomer better.

Then a chuckle rang out, from a voice Zuko would recognize anywhere, no matter the circumstances. A voice Zuko hadn’t heard in so long. If it wasn’t for the restraint he learned all those years ago, the fire in his hand would already went out of control and burned down the whole place just to match his emotions.

The same owner of the voice taught him said restraint. He taught him many things, really, it would not be an exaggeration that Zuko was who he was because of him. The one person that had been plaguing his mind even more since the new Avatar said she’d spoken to him in the Spirit World—the sole reason he even arranged this trip in the first place.

The lantern—the new source of light—finally illuminated the face of the figure now standing in front of Zuko. White hair, age lines, and sharp features—but also kind eyes and a warm smile.

“What a pleasant surprise, Nephew.”

Zuko’s fire had snuffed out and he all but crashed his uncle in a hug.

He almost expected him to disappear under his touch, but that didn’t happen. Instead, Iroh felt warm and solid under his embrace, and Zuko felt his lips tremble and his eyes were wet but he couldn’t care. He just ducked his head to bury it on his uncle’s shoulder, just like those lifetimes ago, and the same worn but strong hands settled on his back and kept him close.

“It is nice to see you again, Lord Zuko.”

Zuko’s lips managed a teary smile, and when they finally pulled back, he found that his uncle’s eyes were watery as well. Zuko registered that the lantern was now on Jinora’s hands, who was standing beside them with a soft expression on her face. Zuko only felt half sheepish about it.

“Right, uh. Uncle, this is Jinora, Aang’s grandchild. Jinora, this is my uncle, Iroh… the first.”

Uncle nodded at Jinora, kind expression never leaving his face. “I am well aware of Young Jinora, Zuko. We have crossed paths before.”

“You have?”

“We met when I visited the Spirit World a while back.” Jinora gave Uncle a more proper bow. “It’s good to see you again, Iroh.”

“Does everyone else get to meet you before I do, or what?”

Uncle laughed at his protest, holding his arm lightly. Zuko decided he would never get tired of that touch. Or that sound, for the matter. “Patience makes victory even sweeter, Nephew. I am sure I have told you this one.”

“So you do have proverbs you haven’t told me yet.”

The smile Uncle gave him never really changed. The same smile that trusted Zuko would find his path, the same smile that believed that Zuko would find what was right and would hold out on his own. For many years, he hung to that smile. On his darkest days, he would conjure up the image of that reassuring smile, and somehow, some way, he would manage through, no matter how hard it was.

“How about we have a cup of tea?” Uncle said, squeezing his arm a little, likely sensing his thoughts somehow. He wouldn’t be surprised if his uncle could flesh out what was going on inside his brain. “And then we can catch up; whatever it is you want to talk about that you go out of your way to visit this old man.”

Zuko huffed a laugh, feeling very light and full of happiness. “That would be amazing.”

* * *

Uncle led them out of the forest, towards a field filled with too-bright green grass. Zuko could see the small house in the middle of the field, and something else on its front—a long table, filled with spirits. His one eyebrow raised in question.

“Is that what I think it is?” His voice sounded almost incredulous. “You’re having a tea party?”

Uncle gave him a smile, and then again, Zuko shouldn’t be surprised, really. If Uncle had a whole eternity to spend, it would only be in character for him to waste most of it enjoying tea. He was more surprised that tea _existed_ in the Spirit World, and that the long table was filled by spirits of various shapes and sizes, each having a cup in front of them. It looked... bizarre.

“We can go inside if you feel more like it.” Uncle offered, ever so understanding.

Zuko contemplated this for a moment, before deciding, “Maybe a few introductions to your companions would be nice.”

Then Uncle gave him a smile that certainly felt like an approval, and Zuko had to stop himself from _preening_. He wasn’t young anymore, dear Agni, he shouldn’t be seeking out that approval anymore—but still. It felt nice, knowing that his judgement fitted Uncle’s desires.

They went through the introductions, the spirits seemingly already knowing a thing or two about Zuko from Uncle’s stories.

He just hoped his uncle didn’t sell him too high. He wouldn’t want to let the spirits down, in case they put too much expectations on him.

Jinora said she would stay with the party outside while Zuko and his uncle have their talk. He hesitated for a while, but the girl was already engrossed in a discussion with the… frog spirit? beside her. He finally followed Uncle to enter the house, and was immediately greeted by the strong scent of jasmine tea.

The house wasn’t so big, but it had a comfortable air to it. Zuko briefly wondered if spirits needed to do human necessities when he saw the bed on one corner.

His uncle was pouring tea to two cups on the low table. He took a seat on the cushion in front of it, and was eternally grateful when Uncle also took a seat beside him, their sides touching. The close proximity was very welcomed.

Uncle’s expression was as warm as the cup of tea on Zuko’s grasp. “So, tell me all that I have missed, Nephew.”

So Zuko took a sip of his tea—after all these years, the drink had grown on him, and he couldn’t help but notice how good the brew was—and started talking. He started with everything that happened since Uncle passed. Retiring from being Fire Lord. Izumi taking his mantle, being what he would say a much better leader than he had been. Uncle had laughed at him when he said that.

“She learned from the best, don’t you think?”

Zuko snorted in response, bumping Uncle a little. “You mean _I_ learned from the best.”

“You sell yourself too short, Zuko.”

Zuko merely shook his head with a smile, continuing his tale. He told Uncle about how Republic City kept growing as fast as ever. Izumi’s son becoming the general for the United Forces.

“A new General Iroh—it’s kind of fitting, right?” Uncle merely laughed again at his words.

He talked about the new Avatar, how she had grown so fast, facing more enemies and neutralizing more threats, always trying to bring balance to the world. He talked about Druk, about the new Air Nomads, about the baby turtleducks on his pond and about last night's dinner. He spoke about everything and nothing at all, because Uncle was _right here_ and he was pressed against his side, they were drinking the best tea Zuko had ever tasted and everything seemed _fine_ for a while.

A spirit came in on his pause and brought cakes and more tea to their table. After they left, Zuko took a breath and started on the hard part.

How some of his friends already left. Sometimes he looked at Korra and felt an ache deep inside, the absence of Aang so clear even for his long-injured eye. Sometimes he would abruptly stop laughing at a joke because that sounded like something Sokka would say. How the rest of them were separated. How Katara stayed in the South Pole. How Toph was isolating herself in a swamp somewhere—she didn’t tell the specifics, but when Zuko visited said swamp once, she suddenly appeared and yelled at him to leave. He didn’t, and in the end she begrudgingly took him to her little cave, before kicking him out again the next morning.

More often than not, Zuko felt incredibly, achingly, alone.

Uncle extended an arm towards him, holding him in a side embrace as he spoke. Despite the height difference, he still leaned to him, relishing the comfort, breathing in the company. He didn’t tell Uncle how many days he spent missing him the most, how sometimes when someone called Iroh—his grandson—Zuko would turn his head so fast only to realize it wasn’t about his uncle a little too late.

Because his uncle was dead, but he was living in the Spirit World, now. Uncle was holding Zuko close, his embrace as strong and solid as ever, and he still listened to Zuko talk with the same compassion as those years ago. And despite his age, despite how ridiculous it would sound if he said it out loud, Zuko felt so _safe_ and _not alone_ in his arms, right then and there.

Of course, his uncle heard the unsaid story, somehow. Not for the first time, Zuko questioned if Uncle could read his mind.

“You cannot dwell in the past, Zuko,” his squeeze tightened a bit, and Zuko slumped to Uncle’s side even more. “With your age, you have seen many changes happen. And that is not something bad at all! The people you hold closest to you will also change, dear Nephew. That is just how life goes.”

Zuko gave him a sour smile. His human age was older than Uncle right now, but he still felt like he had more lifetimes to go through before he could reach that level of wisdom. “Doesn’t make it any easier.”

“It doesn’t.” Uncle agreed. “Change will never be easy, but when you survive to see the result, you will realize the reward is worth the struggle.”

Zuko followed Uncle’s gaze out of the window, and found that the tea party audience had dispersed. They were now playing some game of catch on the field, and even from this distance, Zuko could see the big smile of Jinora’s face, chasing the spirits around.

He thought about the new population of airbenders, coming back after being wiped out hundred years ago. He thought about the many years he carried Druk around, and how the grown-up dragon was the one who carried him around now.

He thought about those years ago, when all he knew were unknown desert and unfamiliar heat against his head, then there was a teashop, then he was home but it didn’t feel like home, then he made the first friends he ever had but now they left him one by one. And he was _scared_ , Agni, he was so scared he would be the only one left standing from them. But whenever he entertained these thoughts Izumi would squeeze his arm, or young Iroh would call with the radio, or Druk would send a puff of smoke his way. Someone would always be there—stopping him from thinking what _was_ and what _might_.

The new Avatar wasn’t the one Zuko had grown up with and who stopped the Hundred Year War together with him anymore, but she was the one who opened the portal to the Spirit World. It was because of her that Zuko could be in his uncle’s embrace right now.

“I guess you’re right.”

Uncle patted his back. “You’re doing great without me, my dear Zuko. You have been, since a long time ago.”

Zuko gave him a lopsided smile. “Can’t I visit just because I want to see you?”

“I am very glad for your visit, of course.” And Zuko heard the unsaid words.

“But you think I shouldn’t do this too much.”

Uncle poured more tea to his cup. It was still steaming, somehow. “The Spirit World works in weirder ways than the living world, Nephew. I cannot stop you from visiting, of course, but there is no promise this place would lead you to me again.” He gave Zuko an apologetic smile, then. “I wouldn’t wish that upon you, to seek me and not find me.”

Zuko thought about this, too. He thought about a lot of things, before finally taking that walk through Republic City towards the portal. It didn’t stop him from shaking his head a little. “You remember the banishment? Everyone said I wouldn’t find the Avatar, who had disappeared for a hundred years, but I did it.”

The sun lines around Uncle’s eyes crinkled. “I am well aware.”

He didn’t say anything more. Zuko didn’t argue more. They both knew Zuko would probably try to find him again. Neither of them had any idea if he would succeed, but neither of them knew this was possible in the first place, too. Right now, they were both here, and that’s what matters.

Jinora would call for Zuko to come back to the living world, later. He would have to leave this place, where no time seemed to pass since he first arrived, where he could be in the presence of his uncle and talk like there was no tomorrow. He would still grow older and someday he would die, or maybe his friends would die first but that’s okay, it would be okay because all of them have children and grandchildren and their story would live on longer than their short mortal lives.

The world wouldn't stop changing and Zuko's family wouldn't stop changing, and that's okay, too.

For now, Zuko eyed the folded Pai Sho table on the corner. He gave his uncle a grin.

“How about one game of Pai Sho before I go, while you share what you’ve been up to around here?”

The way Uncle beamed at him was the only important thing for Zuko right now.

**Author's Note:**

> this work went through minimal editing because i am Tired and cannot be bothered but do let me know if you find any mistakes. also please tell me if i get iroh right because how the hell am i supposed to write him honestly i don't know.
> 
> kudos and comments are very appreciated. who knows, i might even post more atla fics?
> 
> my [twitter](https://twitter.com/sakvnosuke) if you wanna see me scream, occasionally.


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